Hi readers! I hope I meet you well. Eid Mubarak in arrears to my Muslim readers, may we live to celebrate more of it, Ameen! Thank you all for taking your time to read and like my posts, comment and all. I really appreciate every kind gesture, may God continue to bless you all.
I’m sure you guys know that we Nigerians are very funny and wonderful people bhet we are badt laidat *tongue out*, when they say something, I bet it, the statement is not what they mean. They can tell you that your dress is the most beautiful thing they have ever seen and for your own mind, you go dey feel fly, I pirry you, your dress has just been compared to a pot of cooked weevil-infested beans or a pit latrine to make matters worse! Chisos is Lor! Naija people are just bunches of savages that can ‘roast’ and mock people with the most beautiful phrases in the world. These words are called ‘compliments in disguise’. Hehe.
If a Nigerian tells you that;
You’re very funny oh (if you’re not actually a comedian in ‘real life’)- It means you are stupid, dumb, foolish plus everything negative in the English dictionary.
But you’re funny sha (Check yourself well my dear, it’s either they mean your brain is not working properly, ezz like you are hafin tetanus in your brain abi? You need to see a psychiatrist ASAP!) LOL
You look good BUT… (If you love yourself, just go and change that ‘look’ or else, the disgrace that will happen to you has received uncountable international award in public disgrace!
I want to be like you when I grow up oh (that is if they wish you well to do good in life sef not to talk of really wanting to be like you in the future)
How was your night? ( They do not care about your night oh ! LOL. It just happens that a ‘good morning’ greeting is incomplete without this, it’s the part two/sequel to a ‘good morning’ greeting and it’s inseparable twin, so you must say them together whether you like it or not even if it’s 2pm)
Please, help me manage this one grain of rice (manage kor, manage ni. I don’t care if you are not fed or OK, that’s all I have to give you whether you like it or not! After all, no be me born you!
Come and eat (this means come and join me in eating my food but if you dare move an inch close to the food or go get a cutlery to actually want to partake in the eating activity, it’s the thunder that have carried weight and gone to the gym times without number and has 12 packs that would fire you! Tiff! Na you buy the food for me?)
Haha, you’re back ni? (No, I’m front). LOL. For example, you go to the market, come back, meet your roommate that you left behind when leaving for the market and as you are entering the room, she asks “Are you back?” No! I’m left, right, centre, or perhaps…it’s my ghost that has come back!
Son: Mum, this is your phone.
Mum: Put it on my head!
Interpretation: Just put it on her head and get your best photograph ready to add to your obituary!
Bhet God, is this how I die?
Nigerians and their funny ways tho, no…we Nigerians and our funny ways tho (cos I’m a Nigerian too and part of these things). God will save us all from our sarcastic statements.
Thank you guys for reading this post, I hope you find it funny because that’s it major purpose (to put smiles on your faces). Please do not forget to drop your comments and help share with others too. Be good till later. Byeee!