Posted in Funny, Memes talk, Uncategorized

When the hustle game for food at Nigerian parties becomes tight !

Hello readers. Good to have you on the blog again. I’ve been really busy and occupied with lots of things lately but still trying hard to balance those responsibilities. I believe that with God, everything is possible. Thank you for always taking your time to read my posts, it means a lot to me.

So, it happens that I’m so in love with my  fellow Nigerians and their funny ways, God knows! LOL. Have you ever been to  a Nigerian party or ‘owanbe’ as it is widely called before?  If yes, you would have experienced some funny struggles and hustle for food at some, especially the ones that the caterers/servers are literally angry with all the guests and refuse to serve people or those ones that are planning to loot all the party goodies thereby restraining  the proper circulation of food.

First of all;

  • When you get a call from your friend informing you that there is a party to attend
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Ooshey! Your head is there!

  • When you first get to the party acting all posh, cool, calm and collected

We are the VIP people, put some respek on it plix

  •  Then you see the hosts whispering to one another
  • What are these ones saying laidis? Don’t coman tell me that meat has finished o!
  • And then, you start taking selfies and posting updates about the party

I cannot coman go and die

  • After two hours of looking, FOOD hasn’t reached your side yet…

                    Don’t mess with us, we bought the complete aso-ebi including shoes and bags

  • Then a party beggar approaches you (Aunty, please epp me).

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                     Ifa slap you, you go evaporate! A hungry man is an angry man, my fren!

  • Then you see the people on the next table eating happily

 I do not understand this oh, are we not human beings too?

  • Then your situation gets out of hands, first-class hunger catches you

 Bhet what is my offence God?! Kuku kill me na! This suffering is too much!

  • Then you see a server/waiter staring at you across the table

waiter

  • Heeyyzz! Mr. Man, eez like you wish to be unfortunate in life abi? Are you suffering from night-blindness?
  • Hey you server! Are you really blind ni? Can’t you manage toh see this barren table?

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  • Then you can no longer take the torture again and you start a solidarity movement.

Some people are suffering in this parry! There’s corruption everywhere in Nigeria even in Owanbes! This is barbarism and nepotism of the highest order! We can no longer take it!

  • Then all of a sudden, God came to the rescue!
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Oshey GOD! It came through!
  •     And you never h’expererit! Chisos is Lor! The Lor is gooood! The food is here!
  •       Then you start eating away your life. (Bhet why, Uncle?)
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I was hungry three times na!
  •      And the energy came from above! Divine energy for dancing!
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I must collect prize for best dancer
  •       We now call on Mrs. Somebody to give us the closing prayer and…
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Party eyaf finish. Lemme carry my bag and go

LOL. I’m sure some of you can relate with this hustle for food of a thing at Nigerian parties. It’s just very common. Even if they kill ten fat cows, meat and food will  still finish. Hian!

Thanks for reading once again, if you love and enjoyed reading this post, kindly drop your comments and opinions and don’t forget to share with others too. Be good and stay blessed till next time. Byee!

SPRINTER

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Author:

Yetunde Salimon is a Nigerian, Muslim, writer, talent-box, craft maniac, and also the CEO of a handcrafting business; BeAdorned! by Yettie which is known for handcrafted jewelry, African-inspired wears, tote bags and other accessories. Born and bred in the city of Ibadan, Nigeria. Highly obsessed with Africa (my source of inspirations) loves all things African!

12 thoughts on “When the hustle game for food at Nigerian parties becomes tight !

  1. I had to LMFAO!, so real. Perhaps the last Owanbe you attended gave you the much needed insight and tip to conjure this beautiful piece.
    Keep it up ma’ám, you’re doing good, reeeeeeally good.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow..what a funny one…very true yetty,but really i do advocate people eat at home before going to any owanbe’s o cos things are too exbensive (in jenifa’s voice) this days o. So if you’re lucky you’d get to eat at the party and if not,you wouldn’t be so hungry that your face would go hot red…lmao.

    Liked by 2 people

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