Posted in Funny, Memes talk

Six Times Naija Celebrities Threw Shades and Broke the Internet

*Grabs a cobweb stick*

Hi readers! Good day to you all. I hope I meet you all well. Longest time oh!

*clears blog cobweb*

Been too busy to blog. I have been devoting most of my time to my business (BeAdorned! by Yettie) lately but I got the chance to blog today. So, here we are!

*clears throat* I could remember vividly when we all slid into year 2016, with peace and harmony (I guess) not until when some set of people started tampering with the spirit of peace and new year vibe we were basking in.

The ogas at the top will handle the matters and deal with all the perpetrators accordingly  because they are seriously not smiling…

CASE ONE:

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You, Egbon Olamide and Aburo Jazzy, so the two of you had to cause kasala because at Headies Award because of ordinary ‘next-rated’ award abi? Typical example of ‘kwarapshen‘ Them suppose give you hot slaps to reset your brains to the normal default modes. You con dey argue on top car again, forming ‘coman collect it’ mode. You for break it into two na. Well, God save una, the fight no reach 72 hours, I for send you guys away from Nigeria to Ghana and their Jollof go teach you the lessons of your lives!

CASE TWO:

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  • You, Davido! Is it true that you were shaming a whole Dele because of your baby mama brouhaha? That you almost broke the internet into pieces with your yeye epistles. Kini problem E gan then?
  • Something like that sir but not exactly…the thing pained me a lot Sir! But I had to let  go because Mr. Dele na my boy.

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  • Will you sharap?! A whole Dele is your own boy! Walahi, your head is not correct!

 

CASE THREE: 

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Aunty Linda, how far na? Wetin do you and your junior broda, Wizkid? Bhet Aunty, you meant business oh! You even call police join. Someone cannoh play with you again ni?

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Wizkid is just a rude boy. All because of ordinary talk about his house on my blog oh. He He had to be running his mouth upandan and I decided to shakara him.

Trust Nigerians. Savages! They came up with all sorts of pictures bhet ion currr! How can I marry that small boy? In their wildest dreams oh.

Have you heard that Wizkid? All your plans to get Linda’s attention and marry her because of her Banana Island house will not work. Next time, apply senses and put some RESPEK your ancestors! Silly child.

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Noted, Madam Minister!

CASE FOUR:

  • The Joro brothers, bhet why? Una wicked oh! Tuale for the two of you!

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  • See the way you shade the hell outta Aunty GbemiOO all because she called you two ordinary ‘mogbo-moyas‘on Twitter, not even in real life oh. Somebody cannot even play with somebody again in this Nigeria sef? Everything has CHANGED! Hian!

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  • The shade was just too much, couldn’t deal mehn! I should narrate abi. I can’t narrate plix, I can’t come and go and be a narrator of doom like one oga at the top. LOL. Ask Google, it never forgets.

Horrible shade! Bhet why again?! There is God!

CASE FIVE:

  • Last week, popular Nollywood actress, Toyin Aimakhu tried being philanthropic with her ‘voice’ for the course of a sick fan of hers, a viral video of that act broke the internet and we were all moved, Nigerians turned up big time, with donations and prayers for the sick.

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  • Only for us to be jejely enjoying our peace oh, all of a sudden, GBAM! Almighty Aunty Linda posted one kain post on her blog announcing that the whole donating thing is a scam!
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Sca… what?! My 500 naira! Chisos! Who has the book, ‘1,001 ways  to die’ plix?!
  • The whole thing became messy. The actress got dramatic, invited the police and was crying upandan (like she was on the set of a movie) making the whole thing too serious and grave, that was her own fault tho. The patient’s family’s fault was that they weren’t transparent enough with all their plans at all and acted ungratefully to the actress and Nigerians (to some people) in the end (saw a video evidence on that) and our own great Aunty Linda! The newscaster of life! Chai! Her post labeling the donation a scam generated a lot of problems.
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I hail o, Great Aunty Linda!

LOL! Don’t mind me, I play a lot  abi. I hope you had a good time reading it and you enjoyed it. More to come definitely. If you enjoyed reading this post, kindly drop your opinions in the comment box and share with others too!

Bye-bye till next time. Stay blessed.

SPRINTER

 

 

 

 

 

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Author:

Yetunde Salimon is a Nigerian, Muslim, writer, talent-box, craft maniac, and also the CEO of a handcrafting business; BeAdorned! by Yettie which is known for handcrafted jewelry, African-inspired wears, tote bags and other accessories. Born and bred in the city of Ibadan, Nigeria. Highly obsessed with Africa (my source of inspirations) loves all things African!

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